Helping a loved one during an anxiety attack can be challenging but immensely rewarding. Anxiety attacks can feel overwhelming, causing rapid heartbeats, shortness of breath, and a flood of worries. For those experiencing it, an anxiety attack may feel isolating and out of control. As a supporter, understanding the right ways to assist and ground them can make a meaningful difference. Let’s explore essential strategies and tips, backed by research, to support someone during an anxiety episode.
Recognizing the Signs of an Anxiety Attack
Understanding what an anxiety attack looks like can help you intervene effectively. Anxiety attacks may cause symptoms such as sweating, dizziness, feelings of doom, racing thoughts, or even feelings of detachment from the body. It’s essential to recognize that these symptoms are genuine, not an exaggeration. Being present and acknowledging these signs without judgment helps build trust and reassures them that their experience is valid.
The symptoms of an anxiety attack can vary greatly, so it’s helpful to know your loved one’s specific signs and triggers if they have shared them. According to research, nearly 3% of adults in India struggle with generalized anxiety disorder, which includes frequent anxiety attacks. This insight underlines the importance of a supportive approach, especially in Indian culture, where mental health is increasingly being acknowledged.
Staying Calm and Grounded as a Supporter
One of the most critical things you can do during an anxiety attack is to maintain your composure. When you stay calm, your loved one is more likely to mirror this sense of stability. By speaking in a gentle tone and using a soothing demeanor, you create an environment that can help their mind slow down.
Take a moment to ground yourself with a deep breath before speaking or offering support. Often, anxiety can feed off high energy, so lowering the emotional intensity in the room is key. Your calm presence can act as an anchor for them, creating a safe zone to begin regaining control. Approaching this experience with a sense of empathy and non-judgment can go a long way. Saying phrases like, "I’m here for you" or "Take your time; there's no rush" can reassure them that they’re in a safe space.
Providing Validating and Empathic Support
Validation during an anxiety attack means recognizing and accepting their experience without judgment. It’s crucial to communicate that their feelings are real and that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Small verbal reassurances like, "I can see this is hard for you" or "You’re not alone in this" can make a big difference.
Avoid minimizing statements like "calm down" or "there’s nothing to worry about," which can inadvertently make them feel misunderstood. When people feel validated, they are more likely to open up and work through their emotions, knowing they are in a judgment-free zone. Offering a supportive presence rather than advice helps build a bridge of trust and empathy, providing comfort without overwhelming them with solutions.
Using Breathing Techniques to Stabilize
Helping someone regulate their breathing is a proven way to reduce anxiety symptoms. Breathing exercises like the 4-7-8 technique—breathing in for four seconds, holding for seven, and exhaling for eight—can create a calming effect, slowing down the fight-or-flight response associated with anxiety. When offering breathing guidance, speak softly, and encourage them to follow your lead if they’re comfortable.
Another popular grounding technique is synchronized breathing, where you breathe slowly and encourage them to match your rhythm. This can create a sense of unity and help them focus on something other than their anxious thoughts. Studies have shown that deep breathing helps regulate the nervous system and can have an immediate impact, especially when practiced in a supportive, non-intrusive way.
Grounding Techniques: Bringing the Focus to the Present
Grounding exercises are designed to bring attention away from intense internal thoughts and focus it on the present moment. The "5-4-3-2-1" technique is especially effective for anxiety attacks and involves naming five things they can see, four things they can touch, three things they can hear, two things they can smell, and one thing they can taste. This exercise engages the senses and can significantly lower the intensity of an anxiety group therapy attack by shifting focus outward.
If the environment permits, a cold object like an ice cube or a textured item such as a soft blanket can serve as physical anchors, helping them feel connected to the present. For some, grounding can also involve standing up and pressing their feet firmly into the floor, which provides a tangible sense of stability.
Gentle Physical Reassurance (When Appropriate)
Physical touch can be grounding for many people during an anxiety attack, but it’s essential to proceed with caution and always ask for consent. Some people may find comfort in holding hands or a gentle touch on the shoulder, while others might feel overwhelmed by physical contact. Phrases like, "Would it help if I held your hand?" can make them feel supported without forcing contact.
Physical reassurance should be subtle and gentle. For those who are comfortable with it, a simple hand-hold can offer a sense of security and presence. However, if they prefer distance, just staying nearby can still make them feel less alone.
Supporting Them After the Attack
Once the anxiety attack has subsided, your loved one may still feel shaky or vulnerable. Offer a glass of water or a comforting blanket, and encourage them to take it easy. Avoid jumping back into normal activities too quickly, as they might need a few minutes to process the experience and feel grounded.
While it can be helpful to talk about the experience after the fact, respect their boundaries. If they’re not ready to discuss it, a simple, "Whenever you’re ready to talk, I’m here," can help. Long-term support, like recommending therapy for anxiety or even helping them find an anxiety therapist near them, can provide lasting relief and strategies for managing future attacks.
Self-Care for Supporters
Supporting a loved one through an anxiety attack can be emotionally demanding. Practicing self-care afterward, whether through journaling, talking to a counselor, or engaging in relaxation exercises, is crucial to your well-being. Remember, maintaining your mental health allows you to support others more effectively. Resources like Click2Pro's support services offer both anxiety therapists and therapy for anxiety, helping you and your loved one find reliable support.
FAQ Section
1. What should I say to someone having an anxiety attack?
"Say calming, supportive phrases such as ‘You’re safe here,’ or ‘I’m right here with you.’ Avoid telling them to ‘calm down’ or ‘just relax,’ as these can feel dismissive. Focus on being present and validating their feelings."
2. How can I calm someone having an anxiety attack?
"Use grounding techniques like deep breathing or the 5-4-3-2-1 sensory method. Encourage slow breaths and speak in a reassuring, gentle tone. Avoid overwhelming them with questions and instead, stay quietly supportive."
3. Is it okay to touch someone during an anxiety attack?
"Physical touch can be reassuring, but always ask for permission first. A hand-hold or gentle touch can help some people feel grounded, but respect their space if they’re uncomfortable with contact."
4. What should I avoid saying to someone having an anxiety attack?
"Avoid dismissive statements like ‘calm down,’ ‘you’re overreacting,’ or ‘it’s all in your head.’ Instead, focus on supportive phrases like ‘I’m here with you’ or ‘take your time, there’s no rush.’"
5. How long does an anxiety attack usually last?
"Anxiety attacks typically last between a few minutes to half an hour, though they can feel longer. Providing steady support can help them recover more comfortably and regain a sense of normalcy."
Final Thoughts
Supporting a loved one through an anxiety attack requires patience, understanding, and empathy. By learning how to provide calming techniques, validating their experience, and practicing grounding exercises, you offer a lifeline during a challenging moment. These methods not only help your loved one regain control but also strengthen the bond of trust and safety between you.
Long-term support options, like therapy for anxiety, can help them build skills to manage future attacks. Encouraging professional help, such as finding an anxiety therapist near them, can open doors to effective coping techniques that offer lasting relief. Remember, with the right support, even the most intense anxiety attacks can be managed, creating a path toward resilience and well-being.